A RANT AGAINST
Do the women need to dress
like this for beach volleyball
Enough is enough for this
disgruntled sports viewer
By ANDY MURCIA
Ive had enough of the Olympics!
Listen, Im a good American and I take pride in the youth of my country taking on others in good sport, but I also love my TV and when my wife and son are watching so much of the Olympics, Ive just had it! I cant take any more group hugs, high fives, and butt pats! Whatever happened to a simple handshake or a one-liner like, way to go partner?
Before any of you throw rocks at me, know that Im very happy for these kids and as a guy who tried various sports, I have great respect for anyone who can play these sports really well. But if I have to look once more at Mr. Phelps or his Mom, or that beautiful and oh so talented little girl, Gabby Douglas, with that million dollar smile, I think I will go nuts! I just cant take it anymore! There is such a thing as too much of a good thing!
The boxing, which usually is my favorite, sucked this year! Our big fellows on our American team did lousy! They punched like featherweights. (Why, if my editor and I were just a few years younger I think we could have done better. As it stands now, Im lucky I can still tie my shoes and he came close to getting the white cane and buying the dog!)
But, seriously, what happened to our American boxing team? Where was the coaching staff? Our heavyweights ran out of gas and looked like they had partied hearty there in London. They had little left for the ring. Even a Frenchman beat one of our lighter weight American fighters. Everyone knows the French usually surrender and let others do the fighting. Whats going on folks?
And how about that group of weirdos who look and act like they just arrived from Mars! Yes, Im talking about the referees here. Some of their decisions were just obscenely incorrect. Just ask boxing broadcaster Teddy Atlas--but be prepared as he will go off on you big time.
In addition, will someone tell me why girls have to play volleyball in their briefs or are those their underwear? Im not against girls wearing less. I've been to Vegas, but they could at least dance a hair better. Question: Would the weight of a little decent covering up really get in the way of slapping a big ball like a volleyball?
Also, I can hardly watch all those beautiful gymnast girls spinning and flipping on the mats. Am I the only one afraid they might break something thats built so perfect already?
Lastly, please TV God, where are "Dexter," "Curb Your Enthusiasm", and even "Frasier" re-runs! Id gladly watch them instead of NBC's lousy job of broadcasting events AFTER they already had a winner.
I tried to get a full schedule of the Olympic events and found even NBC didnt have one! So it goes like this: I go for my walk in the morning and listen to my radio, and get the results of the events at the Olympics, and then I go home, and NBC thinks Im going to sit in front of my TV until midnight watching events when I already know who won. NO WAY NBC!
Where are Brandon Tartikoff and Fred Silverman when we really need them! They would have programmed timely shows that hold my interest, not re-runs! Why I might even watch an episode of "Mob Wives" Im so hard up. Well, scratch that thought: Im not that hard up!
Okay, go ahead, start throwing your rocks at me now for a lousy attitude and take me before the Senate on un-American sports activities if you must, but please, let me watch anything other than the Olympics. Please, before I end this rant, I think now I need a group hug, a high five, or even a pat on my old butt, or maybe I just need a moment.
©2012 by Andy Murcia. This column first posted Aug. 6, 2012.
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