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EYE ON EUROPE |
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UP JESUS!  How would you like a toaster that toasts the image of Jesus Christ on every slice? This one does. We don't know if it can handle bagels, but not likely. |
Second comings keep popping up everywhere
By MICHAEL JOHNSON
of TheColumnists.com
BORDEAUX
The Jesus craze finally has come to Bordeaux, and that’s getting a little close to home. I found Him staring at me from among my blue veins on my right thigh the other day as I climbed out of the shower.
I only had to ink in the hairline and a thin mouth and there he was. When I flexed, he winked. “Jesus Christ,” I shouted.
Is Jesus trying to tell me something, and if so, what?
I’ve been reading about Jesus sightings on pets and in food, mostly in the U.S. Midwest, and once in Indiana, where I happen to be from, so I wasn’t too surprised that He appeared on me. But this was the first time since the remake of “Cape Fear” that I had seen Him on human skin. It was creepy.
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If you ruffle the fur on the cat at left, you will see the image of Jesus. We don't see
the image of Jesus in the veins on the author's thigh, at right, though the image does somewhat resemble the face of his editor. We don't which is the worse handicap.
My vision came just a few days after seeing a longish item on CNN during an extremely slow news day. The woman on the couch was Lori Johnson (no relation, but another stunning coincidence) and in her hands wriggled a tiny kitten. As Lori fluffed the kitten’s fur, something that looked to her like the Shroud of Turin image appeared.
It was Lori’s husband who first had the vision. Actual quotes from Lori as recorded by ABC News:
"He says, 'I swear that looks like Jesus with a shroud on,' and I'm like 'Okay,' and then my son took that picture, and it was like 'Wow!' After looking at the picture and stuff, it was like 'Oh, there it is.'"
For the camera, she fluffed the fur and said, "See the eyes beard. Here's the shroud."
I have stared at that cat for a long time and all I see is cat fur, but that’s probably more a comment on my lack of faith.
Other sightings have been more clear, such
as the toaster someone picked up in a thrift shop a couple of
years ago. Look at a picture of the toast and you’ll see
that’s Jesus--no doubt about it.
And then a woman named Kelly Ramey in Wisconsin found a twisted
crunchy thing in a sack of Cheetos the other day and immediately
had a Jesus vision.
"I looked at that and I thought, 'Oh my that looks like
Jesus on the cross.' It was just like wow," she said.
But Kelly Ramey's friend, Sue Edelman, apparently has the same
faith problems I do. "I looked again and I thought a horse
head."
Kelly doesn't plans to keep it, now named Cheesus, in a safe
deposit box.
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the close-up view at right certainly makes it clear, doesn't it? |
The Jesus business is more than just a quirky news story. If
you care to go to jesuspan.com, you will find the "Jesus
Pan”, Teflon coated. It "puts the image of Jesus right
on food", says the advertising copy.
The site says, "Holy images have been
popping up all over... A grilled cheese sandwich with the image
of the Virgin Mary sold for over $1,700 on eBay."
©2008 by Michael
Johnson. The photo of the author's bare leg was taken by his
own personal photographer All rights reserved. The other photos
come from various internet sources. This column first posted
Aug. 11, 2008.
TO ACCESS MICHAEL JOHNSON'S ARCHIVE OF COLUMNS ON THIS SITE, CLICK HERE: JOHNSON ARCHIVE.
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"The Editors" or Michael Johnson . To send an email,
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