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 BUCKY FOX
CALLING SIGNALS

 

 THE MISERY
OF A MISSOURI FAN

Denver Mayor John Hickenlooper, left, who's a BIG Mizzou fan,
gets in the spirit with Bucky Fox, not yet aware that their
favorite college basketball team was due to lose again.

Missouri didn't show 'em after all, losing yet again

By BUCKY FOX
of TheColumnists.com

 

You want tough? Try being a Mizzou basketball fan.

Our University of Missouri Tigers have never reached the Final Four. While UCLA, Kentucky, Indiana, Duke, Connecticut cut down the nets every season, Mizzou misses out.

We reached the Great Eight last week. Or the Elite Eight, as the elite call it. We ran into UConn. The way that team does the heavy lifting, it should go by UHaul.

UHaul, UConn, UMon. Whatever. It outmanned Mizzou 82-75.

Goodbye, Final Four. Hello, Final Door, which slammed us again.

At least it was fun watching. And exchanging texts with fellow fans. Here’s how it went Saturday for a lonely Missouri nut in Southern California.

1:30 p.m. Natch, Team TV picks UConn. I’m hoping that with the conviction of Seth Davis and Greg Anthony, this is the CBS version of the SI jinx. And what do you expect from the Eastern-drooling network? Certainly the opening shot had a close-up of the Husky cheerleaders. So what? Mizzou spanks ’em
on the babage front.

1:35. The Tigers dribble out of the runway in gold uniforms. Good. Same color we wore to mess with Memphis two nights ago.

1:37. A shot of Mizzou’s cheerleaders. I was right. They’re in their own league. OK, so maybe there’s room for UCLA’s.

1:39. A Masters golf promo. Gotta gear up for a pile of golf ads played to elevator music.

1:45. A URomp. We’re down 13-2. Davis and Anthony look like Ph.D.s. Text to fellow alum Al in Manhattan Beach: “Jesus.”

1:50. More like it: 13-8. Helps when UConn’s 7-3 Tanzanian, Hasheem Thabeet, rests on the bench.

2:02. Wide shot of the empty seats in the Phoenix stadium. More of them than fans. Which brings up a point: Forget this obsession with neutral sites. Put the teams close to home. The fans deserve it. Text from Tom in Sacramento: “Go Tigers.”

2:06. Third block on Mizzou guard Zaire Taylor. We call him No Fear Zaire. Maybe now No Clear Zaire.

2:07. Graphic with a sad reminder. Mizzou has 21 NCAA tourney game victories without making the Final Four. That ranks second to Boston College and just ahead of Alabama. Speaking of the Tide, good to see it hired a coach. Bama wanted our killer boss, Mike Anderson. Maybe he’ll stay with us for years. We need him.

2:15. Thabeet in foul trouble. Thought that was a nickname, The Beat.
Would love to rename him The Loss.

2:28. Halftime. Down 44-38. Text from Ken in Northridge: “How you holding up?” My reply: “Deep breath.”

2:39. What does Seth Davis know? Mentions Arizona’s title of 1998. Wrong. Came in ’97.

2:41. Fes text from St. Louis: “Can’t lose our swagger.”

2:48. Mizzou down by five. Only thing we’re hitting is iron.

3:02. Thabeet’s third foul. Now our order doesn’t seem so tall.

3:05. Mizzou up 50-49. The clock shows 13:30. Our first lead! The drag news: It would be our only one.

3:17. Dick Enberg uses a good line when Leo Lyons scores for Mizzou: “Lyons leading the Tigers.”

3:25. The Huskies are no dogs at the free-throw line. They just don’t miss.

3:27. Mizzou down by six. No shooting. No rebounds. No hope?

3:40. Fes text: “We must pray to the basketball gods.”

3:42. My text to Fes: “Over.”

3:54. UGone. Once more. “But,” messages Fes, “we proud.”

©2009 by Bucky Fox. The photo is courtesy of the author. This column first posted March 30, 2009.

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