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CALLING SIGNALS |
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Some sports require way
too much grit and daring!
By BUCKY FOX
of TheColumnists.com
“And they’re
off!”
“And down the stretch they come!”
When it comes to sports sizzle, no other calls come close.
No wonder horse racing wears the Sport of Kings crown.
And not just because of the announcer’s bombast. From the
opening gate to the finish line, the ponies present pure power.
No timeouts. No seventh-inning stretch. Just two minutes of surge.
Did you see the Kentucky Derby? How Big Brown bagged it with
his cavalry charge?
I did and wish I had been there live, yelling like Eliza Doolittle
in “My Fair Lady” - “Move your bloomin’ arse!”
As it was, I was a nervous wreck. Not because I had money on
the race; I didn’t. But because those jockeys made for some
of the daringest drama among all athletes.
They jammed their horses together with the chaos of “Ben-Hur.”
One wrong move, and they would’ve ended up like a crippled
Stephen Boyd.
Or dead, as in the case of the Derby’s runner-up, Eight
Belles.
Which got me thinking: What are the scariest sporting roles?
My top 10:
1. Jockey. You whip your horse into the traffic and hope it
doesn’t trip. What a way to make a living.
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gotta fall, don't do it on me!" |
2. Skier. You ever stand atop a pro slalom course? On TV it looks like a civilized slant. In reality it’s an abyss. Crash, and you could become as inert as ice.
3. Boxer. Imagine facing a loon like Mike Tyson. No million-dollar payday could lure me into that death ring. A billion, we’ll talk.
4. Car racer. So most of those wrecks yield zero deaths. I’ll pass on that pressure, thank you.
5. Gymnast. I can’t fathom doing a routine on the rings, much less flipping off them and breaking my neck.
6. Running back. Think of sprinting into a linebacker sandwich. Or leaping for a pass before a speeding safety. You can have it.
7. Hockey winger. You better have guts to reach the puck while a defenseman sizes you up for a mugging on the boards.
8. Pitcher. Some might fear the catcher position. I played it--testimony that it’s safe enough. On the mound, you constantly face the chance of a batted ball bashing your head. Forget it.
9. Platform diver. Headfirst from 10 meters? Heck, I wouldn’t climb up there.
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I'm gonna land headfirst!" |
10. Kobe Bryant. He drives. He springs. In the middle of hammering henchmen. The latest NBA MVP might seem like a pretty boy to Laker haters. The truth is he’s a hoss who could win the Preakness.
©2008 by Bucky Fox. The illustrations
are from IMSI's Master Clips Collection, 1895 Francisco Blvd.
E., San Rafael, CA, 94901-5506, USA. This column first posted
May 12, 2008.
You can visit Bucky Fox's
website at www.BuckyFox.com
You
can comment on this column online. Please address your message
to either "The Editors" or Bucky Fox. To send an email,
click here and don't forget to mention Bucky's name: talkback@thecolumnists.com
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