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CALLING SIGNALS |
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 Is this the sort of visual treat that's been bringing male viewers to ABC's 'Dancing with the Stars' in enormous hordes? (Editor to Bucky: Works for me!) |
Is it possible guys who
watch are just girl-crazy?
of TheColumnists.com
Girlie man? No.
Girlie fan.
Ask most guys why they’re dazzled by “Dancing With
the Stars,” and they won’t sidestep the truth. It’s
the chicks.
Especially Laila Ali. She’s a knockout figuratively. Good
for her daddy for producing something glitzier than a heavyweight
title belt.
Then there’s that dancing titlist,
Cheryl Burke. She rode Drew Lachey to the top two seasons ago.
Then rushed Emmitt Smith to the trophy last fall. Now she’s
trying to win with “90210” actor Ian Ziering. If the
judges are staring at her backless outfits, she’ll wear
a threepeat.
As for the sexiest of them all, Julianne Hough, I save her for
the last of my musings:
Week 1:
Some wag wrote that model Paulina Porizkova was safe from the
voters’ ax. Wake up. The tall Czech was too short on name
recognition. Even more than 2004 Miss USA Shandi Finnessey. Which
meant no fan constituency to offset any rips from the judges.
Sure, the Clyde The Glide can't hide his dullness. But Drexler has sports fans voting for him. Billy Ray Cyrus has achy breaky moves. He also has the entire South clicking on his name. Who would vote for the Czech? Maybe other models who diss Americans, the way Porizkova did when asked about Cuba during one of the show’s features.
Miss USA will go. She doesn't have it.
Leeza Gibbons is next. Journalist. Ask last season’s first
victim, Tucker Carlson, about how much weight we have. Stay tuned
for more picks.
Week 2:
Two for two. I called the Czech and Miss USA bounces. The next
gimme: Gibbons. No one knows her. Which is exactly why the first
two no-names got tripped.
Which also explains why two walkers, the Achy and Glide guys, are still traipsing around Hollywood. They have serious fan bases.
I suppose McCartney's frau does too. But
her backing will prove shaky. Kind of like her teeth. And will
her agent straighten that hair? Brother. Here's a case where
a wannabe star looks better in rehearsals. And who will win the
gold? The non-Yoko: Ohno.
Week 3:
Goodbye, Gibbons.
I said coming in that this was the strongest lock since I picked
Florida to buck Ohio State in the college football title game.
OK, so I picked Ohio State to return the favor in the recent
hoops final. But who’s counting?
On the floor that counts right now, I promised that Gibbons wouldn’t
stand for long, that she would glide right past Clyde and fade
stage left.
Not that it matters much. The “Cheers”
oldie, John Ratzenberger, is facing a last call. Drexler is a
slam-dunk goner the next week. McCartney will beat it soon thereafter.
Billy Ray won’t be aching in practice much longer.
Start counting down to the Fat One vs. Ohno.
Joey Fatone is this season’s Mario Lopez, a ringer stepping
all over the competition. The big guy truly hammered it out last
week, doing footwork only a pro can nail. That’s because
he is a pro, having danced for ‘N Sync.
As for Apolo, he has two big factors that will shoot him to the
final: an Olympic gold-medal speed-skating ethic and a partner
who is a drop-dead superstar waiting to happen.
That would be Julianne Hough, the hottest teen to hit Hollywood since, what, Shirley Jones?
©2007 by Bucky Fox. The "Dancing with the Stars" logo photo is courtesy of ABC. This column first posted April 16, 2007.
You can visit Bucky Fox's website at www.BuckyFox.com
You
can comment on this column online. Please address your message
to either "The Editors" or Bucky Fox. To send an email,
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