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WARS 2004 |
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A Nervous Tune |
 Michael Moore's new film claims Osama was on the Halliburton payroll all the time!" |
From Kerry's Campaign HQ
after GOP convention
By BUCKY FOX
of TheColumnists.com
Memo to: Fellow Dem Dunces
From: Kerry’s tattered campaign tent after the Republican
National Convention
Now hear this. We’ve got trouble, my friends. I say trouble right here in New York City.
With a capital T, that rhymes with B, and that stands for Bush.
The Iowa Futures Market shows the president leading our boy by 10 points.
Tradesports.com has Bush leading by 15.
Both of those betting places make political junkies put their money where their brains are. They have a real stake in where the candidates are going, so we'd better watch those numbers.
And in the traditional arena, the L.A. Times has W leading for the first time all year.
Mothers of New York City! We’re falling so fast, we’ll land in Cheney’s dungeon any minute.
We’re so far behind, we’re still counting chads.
We’ve surely got trouble. And that can mean only one thing: time for traditional Dem Darts.
Start loading up and firing away with these:
* It has been awhile since Hurricane Charley. And not
one Floridian has starved from fiddlin’ FEMA. Get down to
Fort Myers and find one! Somewhere under that rubble is an oldie
shriveling from Bush neglect. Set up the NPR interview immediately.
* The poverty rate just came out. I understand a woman
in Alaska is poor. What has Bush done about that? Nothing! Fly
her here from Juneau tonight and get her on Rather.
* Mr. Moore says Bush set up 9-11. A Berkeley professor
confirms it. We have footage. Get it on “20/20” this
week.
* Gas just shot up 5 cents. Obviously a Cheney/Halliburton
plot. Get Carter’s energy czar to bitch about it. On MSNBC.
Pronto.
* This is truly outrageous: Bush doubled the education
budget. How does he think that will be enough to buy textbooks?
Chalk? Condoms? We need a president to shovel trillions into
government schools. That president is Kerry. Get him on Brokaw
right now.
Oh, we’ve got trouble, my friends. We’re in terrible,
terrible trouble.
Now get moving. Kerry’s
on the line. He’s calling from way back.
©2004 by Bucky Fox. The cartoon is from IMSI's Master Clips
Collection, 1895 Francisco Blvd. E., San Rafael, CA, 94901-5506,
USA.
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